It's that time of year again when Bowel Cancer UK's invites supporters to raise some funds for their fantastic charity, that helps so many on their bowel cancer journey; a charity I wished me and my husband Martyn stumbled on sooner in our journey.
I’m taking part in 'Walkie's Together' fundraiser this September to raise funds and help save lives and improve the quality of life of everyone affected by bowel cancer. Bowel cancer is the UK's second biggest cancer killer with more than 16,500 people dying annually of a disease that is preventable, treatable and curable. The funds I raise will help to provide support and information to patients and their families, fund and support research into bowel cancer and support campaigns for early diagnosis and best treatment and care for all. I've been taking part in the Bowel Cancer UK Walk Together events since they began in 2017 and with the help of friends and family have raised to date, a total of £5,672.91. I'm very aware finances are tight for everyone, so instead of asking for sponsorship, throughout September, I'll be sponsoring every dog £5 that is walked in September via my business 'New Dawn - Cornwall' and donate it to the Bowel Cancer UK’s Walkie's Together fundraiser. You can follow my progress and find out more via my business Instagram or Facebook page. For anyone that would like to make a donation, you can do this via my fundraising page:
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This year I wanted my fundraising memory walk for Bowel Cancer UK to be a bit different; without the sponsorship pressure, so I made the decision that my own business New Dawn - Cornwall, would sponsor every dog £5 that we walked (during September). This also included friend's dogs that asked to join us too. This meant that the 29 doggies who walked together with us, helped raise £145 towards our total amount of £235 for Bowel Cancer UK. Huge thanks to all the dogs that gave me their company on our Walkie's Together fundraising walks during September; including my pair Charlie and Obi and all their friends that boarded with us or joined our weekly walks. Also special thanks to Gemma who lost her husband to the disease, who joined me on my 5 mile memory walk and Rachel who lost her dad - all too young. Total now raised since I began the charity walks back in 2017 currently stands at = £5,672.91 - all in memory of Marty and my other friends that have lost their battle with the disease. If you want to see some pics of us on our walks, check out my instagram page If you'd like to sponsor us, you have until the end of October : ) Proof of payment receipt below:
I made 3 payments to the charity - the first was paid direct to the charity of £125, which meant it didn't show up on our fundraising page : ( I took a year off from Bowel Cancer's UK 'Walk Together' in 2022 because there was quite simply too much going on in my life; I was being made redundant from my job of 14 years which had so many ties and two very dear people, who I have written about in this blog passed away from Bowel Cancer - my dear friend Neil (who's birthday it would have been today - Happy heavenly birthday!) and a special lady you might know as Dame Deborah James - or BowelBabe. Selfishly for me though, my main reason for not planning a charity walk last year was because I was embarking upon a scary, BIG new chapter in my life starting my own business - something Marty had ALWAYS wanted and told me to do! New Dawn - Cornwall (a luxury dog boarding and walking service) launched in June 2022 and one year on it's thriving and has been a fantastic journey, filled with lots of learning and full to the brim of all types and sizes of gorgeous dogs - my dream since I was a child! So to make a long story short, when I saw Bowel Cancer UK were inviting us to get our furry friends involved and take on one of their new dog walking challenges, I knew this was the year to take the lead (excuse the pun) and make 2023 'Walkies Together' extra special. So, if you'd like to join me, Charlie and Obi on one of our walk around the Gannel and Crantock, we'd love for you to join us. I will provide full details and the plan of our route (as in previous years), but in the mean time all you have to do is save the date! DATE FOR YOUR DIARY! 17 SEPTEMBER 2023 View our fundraising page if you'd like to make a donation: https://fundraise.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/fundraisers/emmamatthews If you'd like to register yourself with Bowel Cancer UK to take on your own challenge, there are different events you can pick from. If you want to take part in the Walkie's Together, you'll receive a free dog bandana. If you choose the 43 mile challenge then you'll also receive a calendar to track your walks.
I've been wanting to update here but I've needed a little time. Time to think, reflect and accept. I reflect and still learning to accept but there never feels like there is enough time in this world to process my never ending flow of thoughts, so I'm taking a little time now to share it on here. One thing I have noticed is how everything links back to Marty in some shape or form and that gives me great comfort. On 19th January 2022, one of my loveliest friends, Neil died from Bowel Cancer. I was lucky and privileged to have been able to spend a little bit of time with him before he died, hold his hand and just be there in his company. I've been wanting to post here for a while about the amazing walks me and Neil did to fundraise for Bowel Cancer UK but I'm not sure I still have the words so I'll let Neil speak for me, because it was what he was best at - talking:
Since Neil died, I managed to face a fear and go swimming in the sea with his partner in crime, wife Tricia. But since I took the plunge, Obi (my puppy) ate my sea shoes and I've not been back since or made time to buy another pair of shoes! This is a non-excusable excuse and something I am putting right this week; so Tricia, if you're reading this, I'm going to make it my priority to buy some new wet shoes and get back in the water with you and the other Cornish Sunrise Mermaids!* *Now here's one of those lovely moments that happen at the right time just like they are in tune with you - Tricia just messaged me because she saw I was looking at Neil's blog, so I called her to catch up! Better get my new boots as I'm off swimming for the sunrise on Sunday! So to carry on with my chain of thoughts and another significant event that has taken place was in February when I was made redundant from my role with Cornwall Fire and Rescue Service, where I'd worked for the past 14 years. So much history, time and memories that I'd been holding onto were about to come to an end and this triggered all sorts of emotions. Two BIG, massive chapters in my life seemed like they were ending. I was lucky enough to be able to talk through my fears of being made redundant and tell Neil of my new adventure I was about to embark* upon. Neil's outlook on life was very similar to Marty's and it meant a lot to have him around to talk things through. Neil's positivity and outlook on life made me take the courage I needed to take a leap of faith - what did I have to loose? So what am I doing now? Well I decided to do what Marty would want me to do - something he wanted me to do years ago but I never had the confidence or strength to dip my foot in to try. I'm now self employed (this is still a very scary word for me) and I've been dog walking for a business in St Columb. I love my new job so much, I wish I had taken the step sooner to try my hand at something else. Alongside the dog walking, I have also started with a crazy plan to build two shepherd huts to rent in the garden to generate a bit of income for future years. The bit of news that has happened in-between all of this, is my step children's nan, Liz passed away on Monday 9th May. Liz was like a mum to the kids (they're no longer kids, they're amazing young adults) and it has been a massive shock to everyone as Liz was the glue that kept their side of the family together. She was a fantastic lady and one I had much time for. I'm so glad we spent Christmas all together last year and those memories of our dinner all sat around the table laughing and having fun will be a lasting memory for all of us. I will also be grateful to Liz, as she gave me the greatest gift when she persuaded me to meet a dog called Charlie that was looking for a new home. At the time I had just lost one of my dogs (Brew) and was nursing the other one (Hex). They were like mine and Marty's children and I had been dreading and preparing myself for their departure from this world. It was like Liz knew what I needed without me even realising or wanting to see it. Loosing Brew and Hex was a lot for me so having Charlie squidge in the middle some how made it much easier for me to accept and has given all of us living at our home in Ennsicaven much joy, laughter and snuggles with him - and now Obi too - my whippet puppy. Today's tipping point to stop and take some time for me and update my blog in memory of Marty, has been the news that I have been hoping wouldn't come. The amazing Deborah James - more commonly known as the Bowelbabe has been my hope for a better future for those that are diagnosed with bowel cancer from any age but especially the young, where diagnosis is all too often too late. Bowel cancer shattered my life but people like Deborah have helped me and others get through it by never giving up hope for the future. She made talking about poo taboo be normal and not something you need to be ashamed about. This week has been overwhelming for so many reasons and I will be buying Deborah a drink for sure to support her fund www.bowelbabe.org. Please show her support for all she has done to raise awareness and buy her one too and share the love. So that's it, I'm all caught up. Life is tough and I've just off loaded the most heavy bits of it here. There's just one final thing I just want to do and that's take a moment to thank everyone that is in my life right now. The past years have been far from easy but we've got through it together. Ant, I doubt you'll read this because its not really your thing but I could never have got through everything and come out the other side if you weren't supporting me with each decision and step I have taken and we take together. Even when we don't quite get things right - like you cutting down the Buddleia instead of digging it up, we can see the funny side and I still love you and that's all that matters because nothing else does. Marty, you will always live on, in me, deep in my heart and that's where you will always be. Mum, Dad, & Rachel I love you dearly even when there are fallouts over Iceberg lettuce for the tortoise! Thank you for letting Toby stay with me, we will have the greatest adventures all together. My Aunt Chris and Uncle Tony who I love loads. Thank you for always checking in at the right moment and giving me the encouragement and support I need to hear. Your phone call this morning Chris was perfectly timed as ever. Kyle, Shannon, Cal, Katie, Amber, Ben, Madison, Mason, Mateya you are my world and total chaos at times but I wouldn't change a thing. Linda and Tony, I will love you always. To all my friends that get me, give me your time and support, thank you. You're all as mad as me and I think the world of you all x * Embark is my new favourite word because it makes me giggle when I use it as I can drop it in to tell people how I'm embarking on a new chapter in my life to start my dream job of working with dogs - It's like a New Dawn is coming (Dawn is my middle name). And I'm posting this without having to proof read but so what. I need to get showered and out for the dogs! Have a good day everyone xxxx When I first moved to Cornwall, I was giving up the life that I knew to join Martyn in Cornwall to start our new adventure together. I was petrified of trying to find a job but I did thanks to a man called Neil.
I could never have wished for a better boss, Neil was what you would ever hope for as a manager. There are so many stories to tell, but two in particular stick in my mind. Some of you may know that me and Marty adopted a very ill and mistreated Greyhound called Duke. Well Duke didn't cope too well when we had to leave him to go to work. Neil's reaction was "Well, you'll just have to bring him into the office with you then". Was I hearing right? Yep, he genuinely meant it and I was so grateful. Not only had I finally got my childhood dream of having my own dog but to also have permissions to take it to work was like all my Christmas and birthday wishes had come true all at once. Me and Neil had our own separate offices, but I shared mine with our work colleague Jon. I had a word with Duke before his first day in the office and explained that he had to be on his best behaviour. Well it didn't take long before I realised Duke's farts were going to be a bit of a problem. I did my best to prevent the vile smell reaching Jon's desk by quickly opening my window but the stench coming out from Duke's backside was just too strong to hide. One day, the commotion of Jon suffocating at his desk bought Neil to our door. I was trying to control my hysterical laughing / panic at being found out that my dog was in actual fact a stink bomb. Did Duke get evicted? No, of course not because Neil is a true diamond and is one of the loveliest people I have had the privilege to know. In 2007, I got a new job in the Fire Service as sadly all of our jobs were at risk of redundancy. A few years later Neil eventually moved jobs too and became a sort of handyman for the Eden Project. When I say handyman, Neil was in his element creating all sorts of structures and fancy displays in his very own playground. When Marty became ill and needed distracting, Neil got him out of the house to work a few hours at the Eden Project. Marty loved it and I didn't have to worry as I knew Neil would take good care of him while he was still on his chemo. After Marty died I hadn't seen Neil for while and I literally bumped into him and Trish at the entrance of Tesco in St. Austell. After a lot of hugging, Neil told me he had been unwell. I could see in his eyes what he was about to tell me. Bowel Cancer. They'd caught it early and he was recovering well. Then 2020 happened. Neil's cancer is back and sadly, his doctors can only help to prolong his life. It's an all too similar story to Marty's battle and I am devastated for Neil and Trish. Life is so cruel and no one deserves to go through this. Both Neil and Trish are an inspirational couple and always manage to have a smile on their face despite the mountains they have both been climbing these past couple of years. They always find ways to be positive and I love being in their company because they are on my same wave length. Neil couldn't make my walks in September so he has planned his own using my route at Crantock on 15 October, 10am, from the Beachcomber Cafe. We'd both like you to join us for one last walk if you can or donate / sponsor our cause at: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/cornwallwalkstogether It's not going to be an easy 5 mile walk for Neil or Trish. If you'd like to find out more about them, take a look at Neil's blog: It's Cancer, Not Covid. It's a roller-coaster of a read, raw and real to living a life with cancer. The tide timings and failing light for this walk were a little risky but I thought it would be fun and after all, the worst that could happen was the chance of getting wet feet and needing to use our phones as torches! The last walk was completed by 5 of my dear friends Sarah, Andrew, Debbie, Shawn and my partner Ant. We got to the half way point and were so disappointed, as the café was just shutting - no ice cream were going to be consumed for this walk but boy did we make up for it at the end! We had a reservation at The Albion Inn in Crantock and the food was amazing, Marty would have most definitely approved! I never really expected for so many people to join me in my walks and it really did surprise me at everyone's generosity at a such a difficult time. I only anticipated in raising around £200 so to have raised £935 for the 2020 Bowel Cancer UK Walk Together has blown me away. In total, my walks in memory of Marty have now raised a massive £1831.91. A huge thank you to everyone that has helped me achieve this. For my 3rd walk on 20th September we were yet again blessed with amazing weather. It was the hottest one so far and the walk was completed by 31 people. I'd like to say a BIG thank you to Andrea, who is still recovering from her stage 3 Bowel Cancer but still managed to rally up lots of her friends and family to take part in Covid safe groups of 6 or less.
I'd also like to thank the Michelle and Richard for taking part with their gorgeous family and dogs, my dear friend Lucy and daughter Lily for being my support for the day and a new friend called Gemma, who had sadly lost her husband Kevin to this cruel cancer only 5 months ago. Kev was only 42 when he died and their story was sadly all too similar to that of Marty's. During the walk, we took the time to reflect on our experiences and enjoyed some fun on the inventive handmade swings built into the trees - which made us feel 10 years old again. We stopped and treated ourselves to a lovely lunch in Trenance Gardens and by the time we crossed the finish line and said our goodbyes, we had reached an amazing £680 for Bowel Cancer UK. On Sunday 13th September, I walked another 5 miles for Bowel Cancer UK's Walk Together; this time with my family.
There are so many feelings and emotions that can go along with a family member being diagnosed with cancer. My guilt and feeling of being helpless never goes away so I'm always busying my mind with what I can do to help others and that's raising money for charity. If it helps in some small way to support research into cancer, or keep the Cornwall Hospice beds open, or help and care for sick and injured hedgehogs, then that's what I'll do. We started at a different point on the walk due to the tide times, so it was quite nice for me being a bit different. On the way round I also placed 2 of my Hedgehog Rocks I paint for Prickles and Paws (P&P) Hedgehog Rescue to raise awareness of my spiky friends and it got found by a little boy called Lucas. This led to a £50 donation to the Hedgehog charity that I care very much about and it made my day. Another magical end to a beautiful day that I know Marty would have loved to have been apart of. Onwards and upwards to my third socially distanced walk on Sunday 20th September with some more very special people and friends. It's random moments like these that I treasure forever - the times when unexpected plans just seem to happen and fall into place - like you've planned it. I had such a beautiful and memorable day on Friday 4th September for the first of my walks for Bowel Cancer UK's Walk Together fundraiser.
I was already looking forward to the day because my best friend Penny was going to be walking the route with me and just before she arrived, the day was made even more special when 2 very dear friends visiting from Germany, were also able to take part in the walk with me. I hadn't told them about it, as their original plans meant they weren't going to be here for it - but thanks to the weather, their plans changed and on the morning of the walk, Thomas asked if he could stay one more night in their van. It was like it was meant to be and I told him about the walk and the rest is history. It was so unexpected but it was like it was meant to be. The whole day I can only describe as magical. Connie and Thomas are very special to me, as they helped me and Marty through the three months we spent in Coswig, Germany, while Martyn underwent his 2 operations on his lungs to remove his secondary cancer. We lived in their holiday home and a very special friendship was formed. Me and Connie are very alike and despite not being able to talk to each other due to the language barrier, we have so much in common and communicate in other ways - often with the help of Thomas! We were met at the start of the walk by a very special lady called Chrissie Jackson, who has been fundraising for a number of local causes since being diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. Sadly she was too unwell to walk with us but I am so grateful to her for coming along to see us off for the start. It really meant a lot to me. Throughout the day, so many people were in my heart and mind including Chrissie, my friend Neil who was starting his first day of chemo for his stage 4 bowel cancer, my online friends that have sadly lost their lives to this disease, Marty's dad, who's birthday it was and my parents 44th wedding anniversary! I'm absolutely bowled over by how much has been raised so far - £310 and would like to thank everyone for all of their support. I'm really looking forward to the next walk which I will be completing privately with my family one day next week and then the remaining 2 planned walks on Sunday 20th and Saturday 26th September. If you'd like to take part or donate to the cause, please visit my Just Giving page: www.justgiving.com/team/CornwallWalksTogether It's only 3 days until my 1st 5mile walk for Bowel Cancer UK's Walk Together during September. For anyone planning on socially distancing the walk with me on Friday 4th September, I'll be starting it from the Beachcomber Cafe at 10.30am (a little earlier then planned to make sure we can get parked). Link to directions to the car park The route: https://www.plotaroute.com/route/1221972 If you'd like to take part in the walk in your own time, I'd like that very much and would appreciate a small donation of your choice to the cause. To donate visit my JustGiving page: www.justgiving.com/fundraising-edit/cornwallwalkstogether Thanks to everyone that has donated so far, it really means a lot. The next 2 walks will take place on: Sunday 20th September - approx 10.30am Saturday 26th September - approx 4.30pm There's only three weeks to go until I set off on my first Walk Together Cornwall in Newquay around the Gannel. If you would like to join me on one of my 5 mile walks around Crantock and the Gannel in Newquay, I have 3 dates you can choose from in September to walk it (socially distanced of course!). Timings will be be confirmed nearer the day: - Friday 4th September (10.30am start) - Sunday 20th September (approx 10.30am start - Saturday 26th September (approximately 4.30pm start) Bring a picnic with you or grab a bite to eat at the Lakeside Cafe or choice of pubs in Crantock at the end of the walk. How to support the cause: Take part with me!
Sponsor me and my family!
Request a painted rock
Since the start of the Bowel Cancer UK Walk Together events have taken place, my families Walk Together fundraising has so far raised £1,251.91 for the charity and we hope this year we can reach our £1,500 target. All fundraising will help the charity continue to support patients with the disease, campaign to provide expert information and support to patients and their families, enable and support research into the disease, educate the public and professionals about the disease and to campaign for early diagnosis and access to best treatment and care across the UK. If you have any questions or need some more information, please email me. This year Bowel Cancer UK is suffering from the lack of fundraising events due to the Coronavirus pandemic. The charity have had to change their plans and can no longer hold these large events but it's not stopping their many supporters holding their own events!
This year I will be re-walking my 5 mile memory walk I held back in 2017, which treks across Newquay's river along the Gannel and I am inviting other people to take part (socially distanced) and make a donation of their choice to the charity to take part. Most of the walk is flat and it's breathtakingly beautiful and was one of mine and Marty's favourite places in Cornwall. For anyone that can't make the walk, you can sponsor me to paint a rock, which I will drop at certain points of the walk to raise awareness of Bowel Cancer UK and to remember loved ones lost to any type of cancer. In return for your donation, I will photo your rock and send you a picture of where it's been placed. If you'd like to find out more or to request a rock, please email me at [email protected] Dates for the walks I want to try and raise as much money as possible for Bowel Cancer UK, so I have planned the following dates to give people plenty of options to take part and complete the 5 mile walk:
Timings for the walks Timings for the walks will be confirmed nearer the event as we need the tide to be on its way out. As soon as I have confirmation of the tide times, I will update this page with the details. Complete the walk in your own time If you can't make the above dates or don't want to take part in the group walk but would still like to take part; for a donation of your choice to Bowel Cancer UK, I can provide you with an online GPS route of the walk, which you can access off of any smart phone and walk it in your own time. Just drop me an email to [email protected] and I will forward on the details to you. Find the hidden treasure! To add a bit of fun, there will be a treasure box to find on the route with a little keepsake 'thank you' from me for your efforts of taking part. How to donate / take part To sponsor / take part in the Cornwall Walk Together, please visit my JustGiving page to donate: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/cornwallwalkstogether If you'd like to join in and help me fundraise for the walk as well, I'd love for you to join my team's JustGiving fundraising page: www.justgiving.com/team/CornwallWalksTogether Is the walk dog friendly? For me this is probably the most important question and I can confirm it is dog friendly! I will have my sweet Whippet x Collie with me who will be providing love and cuddles to all that want it (in return for tennis ball throwing - his words not mine!). Walk five miles this September to help stop people dying from bowel cancerWalk Together is a sponsored five mile walk to show support for those undergoing treatment, to remember loved ones and help stop people dying of bowel cancer. During September Bowel Cancer UK normally hold their nationwide Walk Together events where hundreds of people come together to walk five miles. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic they've had to change their plans and can no longer hold these large events. However they’d still love you to walk with them, so this September they're asking you to walk five miles in your own time, at your own pace in your local area, with your household or within small (socially distant) groups. The Bowel Cancer UK fundraising team will be on hand to help you plan a great walk with tips and advice and a competition for the whole family to get involved. If you would like to take part Walk Together 2020, sign up using the button below. In the next few weeks I will be sharing details of my 5 mile memory walk I will be completing in September with my family in Cornwall. If you want to take part but need a walk set out for you then I can guarantee you will love this walk! "Our vision is a future where nobody dies of bowel cancer but we can’t achieve this alone. Join us and lets Walk Together this September." I completed the 2019 Bowel Cancer UK Walk Together in London with Ant and The Hobbits. Charlie was a 🌟 for his first time in the city and on his trip on the tube. Thanks to everyone that has sponsored us past and present.
Our current tally raised to date for Bowel Cancer UK is £877! Here's some photos from the event in London - See you back in 2020! On Sunday July 7 2019, I turned 39 and chose to celebrate it by taking part in the Truro 5K Race for Life with some friends. I decorated my tshirt ran my heart out in memory of Marty and met some amazing people along the way, including one of the Colorectal Cancer Nurses Marty had a soft spot for called Candy. It made my day and was so lovely to get so much encouragement and a hug off of her. When a loved one is diagnosed with a disease, your life is completely transformed - you question why them and not you and your dreams get broken. You meander through a myriad of unwanted emotions and are sent on a testing and very scary roller-coaster. You find yourself reflecting on your ‘previous’ life – one untarnished by cancer – and punish yourself. 1 in 2 people will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. Every single pound that is donated to Cancer Research UK can make a difference to their groundbreaking work. Where does your money go? Each step we make towards beating cancer relies on each pound donated. Here are some examples of how the money you donate / have donated can help:
Since moving into the month of April, it has bought with it Bowel Cancer Awareness month, which will always trigger pain and upset but it also fills me with an a ray of positive messages, awareness and support across the Bowel Cancer UK charity network - which I am very proud to be apart of and support.
One lady; who I've met through the charity and admire and love a lot is Deborah James (Aka the Bowel Babe), who has given me the nudge I needed to finally sign myself up for my first ever 5K run at the Truro Race For Life. The run falls on my birthday and I couldn't think of a better time to take part in it with friends supporting me. I have chosen a very appropriate team name called 'We've got the Birthday runs', so watch this space for photos and an update on the how the event goes in July. Find out more details about my 5K birthday run here. I'm very pleased to be able to share that this week, Bowel Cancer UK launched a fantastic but simple new tool that could help people that find themselves in the same situation as Marty did. The charity has collaborated with one of their supporters, Beth Purvis, to launch a symptoms diary for people that are worried about their bowel habits. Research has shown that younger bowel cancer patients; like Marty, have a very different experience of diagnosis, treatment and care which is why this new tool will be so valuable to others. If you are worried about your bowel habits, then download the symptoms diary and take it with you to your next GP appointment. Read more about Beth's story and the aim of the symptoms diary below: (Information has been taken direct from the charity website) Beth was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer at 37 years old. The main symptoms she experienced were constipation and diarrhoea with significant bleeding from her bottom. Her GP put it down to Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), but Beth believes if she was keeping a diary of her symptoms her GP would have taken her seriously and referred her for further testing sooner. She may have been diagnosed at an earlier stage when treatment has the best chance of working and a greater chance of survival. The symptoms diary, pioneered by Beth and supported by Coloplast, aims to help keep track of a person’s symptoms before they visit their GP. This will give a good indication to their doctor whether they need further tests. Patients may not remember all their symptoms during the short appointment so having something written down can be useful. Every year almost 42,000 people are diagnosed with bowel cancer in the UK, making it the fourth most common cancer and second biggest cancer killer. However it shouldn’t be because it is treatable and curable especially if diagnosed early. Although bowel cancer is more common in the over 50s it can affect people of all ages, more than 2,500 people under 50 are diagnosed with the disease in the UK every year. Beth Purvis says: “I spoke to my GP two years before my diagnosis but was told that it was probably IBS. They just told me that I should try and live with it if I could but to come back if my symptoms got worse. I was in so much pain that I went to A&E and was diagnosed with stage three bowel cancer. “I had surgery to remove the tumour followed by chemotherapy for six months, but suffered from severe damage to my nerves, which has still not gone away. The following year a routine scan revealed spots on my lungs and I’m now diagnosed at stage four and have been told I’m now considered incurable. I have had surgery on my lungs to remove the tumours and I’m back on chemotherapy in the hope that the treatment will prevent further spread and keep the cancer at bay to extend my life. “I hope this symptoms diary will help to either rule out bowel cancer or that a person will be diagnosed with the disease early when treatment has the best chance of working.” Lauren Wiggins, Director of Services at Bowel Cancer UK, says: “We’re delighted to work with Beth on this symptoms diary. It’s for people that are worried about their symptoms and want to keep track of them before they visit their GP. Most people with bowel symptoms don’t have bowel cancer, but if you have one or more symptoms, or if things just don’t feel right, visit your GP with your completed symptoms diary."
I can't believe it's been 4 years since Marty died. I can hand on heart say that there hasn't been one day since he passed away that I haven't thought about him. I re-live the happy memories daily and try to shut out the night terrors. He will always be in my thoughts and no one will ever be able to take away what we had with each other. It has taken me four year's to finally feel at peace with myself and to feel genuinely happy again and be able to talk without feeling I should be ashamed of myself. I've made discoveries about life; good and bad where some things have saddened me but it has taught me a lot and I'm grateful for those that have given me strength and encouragement; some who are complete strangers like BowelBabe - Deborah James, who's book I can recommend reading '**** You Cancer'. When Marty was diagnosed with bowel cancer it felt like the life we had and planned for had been ripped from underneath us and was the hardest thing I've ever have to face, but at least then we had each other. After Martyn died, I found myself alone and scared of the future. A lot has happened since Marty died and I'm still here living and breathing thanks to my partner Ant, some really good friends and family. I'd like to thank Zoe; my work colleague and now dear friend, for supporting me and reading my endless paperwork, letters and responses when I fought for justice for the unacceptable treatment Marty had from certain individual GP's at Probus doctor's surgery, who severely let him, me and his family down. I took on the fight for Marty and his family and I found it sole destroying and it nearly killed me. One day I hit a barrier; I had isolated myself in the fight, was exhausted from trying to do and deal with too many things and I had nothing left to give. Not only was I solely taking on the medical council, I was working full time in a mentally demanding job, moving out from the beautiful home Marty built because there were too many painful memories, starting a holiday let, helping my family with my dearly beloved granddad, trying to be a good step mum to Ant's children who he has custody of, which generally involved me pretending everything was ok! Ant's children were and have been amazing throughout all of these past four years and their maturity at the situation me and Ant found ourselves in is admirable. They have bought light into my life and given me so much joy, laughter and all the other things bringing up a family come with. After Zoe recognised a visible decline with my mental health, she helped me finally see and admit I was torturing myself for all that had happened with Martyn. She gave me the strength and encouragement to seek extra help in August 2017 and I'm eternally grateful to her and my other friends that supported me during this time. It took 6 months to be seen by a counsellor from Cruse Bereavement Care and a guy called Kevin counselled me back to a state of good mental health. I never believed the counselling would make a difference due to the amount I've had in the past, but it did and I feel like me again after 7 long years of pain and suffering. At the end of my last session Kevin thanked me, as in his profession he admitted I was very challenging to help! This made me laugh and I really appreciated his honesty. I really respected Kevin for saying this as that in itself really helped me accept all that I have been through in life has been horrific and it's now time to start being kinder and taking of myself.
I'm thankful to Marty's mum and dad; Linda, Tony and his granny who mean the world to me and have always treated me like a daughter with the same love and care since Marty died. I thank Lana for sending me the most random snapshots and making me smile when I see what her two gorgeous children and dog Dexter have been up to. I thank Lucy and Penny for sending the most silliest of videos of Marty and me from their collection. One of my closest friends Sarah and Andrew for our 'group' counselling sessions which always brings us to tears and laughter over a bottle of fizz or two. There's so many more of you I'd like to mention but there's just too many to put here! Basically, if you've been in my life the past 4 years thank you! Last but not least I'd like to thank Ant who has helped me to cherish the life I have been given. He is no longer my brother-in-law but my partner and I am not ashamed to say that. Ant, you have been my rock when I've needed it the most. You have picked me up when I've been down and you're the world's best fixer of anything! You gave me the confidence to do what I had only ever dreamed of doing - to pass my motorbike test. We have had the most amazing adventures, many with the kids which I will cherish forever and I can't wait for more. Your laid back 'Mr Cool' approach to dealing with life's challenges is remarkable and I want to thank you for being so head strong and sticking with me through thick and thin. You have taught me so much and my love for you just keeps growing stronger every day. We're a team and we're living both our dreams, which I know Marty would be so happy with. Life has taught me it's too short not to deal with the emotions we feel. Grief can effect you in the strangest of ways and for some, not in a positive way. There is no time limit or rules on what is right or wrong and people should never judge because you will never know the pain and suffering that has led them to the path they are on. Happiness is something that we all strive for. While it’s nearly impossible to rid negative thoughts, people and situations altogether (we’ll always have good and bad days), we can choose to strip away the parts of our life that bring us down and instead refocus that energy towards being the best versions of ourselves. Marty is around us everyday and he has blessed us with the love we share today and he wouldn't want anything less then that. Here's to you Marty - forever in my heart. On 15 September 2018, me, Ant and my mum, dad and sister all took part in the Bowel Cancer UK Walk Together event in London.
Team Hobbs / Matthews all felt a little apprehensive when we pledged that we would try and raise £60 each in sponsorship for the charity. None of us felt we would be able to achieve this, however, thanks to some very supportive close friends and family we reached our target! Between us we raised £435 to help Bowel Cancer UK continue their vital work to save lives and improve the quality of life of everyone affected by bowel cancer. The current fundraising total for the London walk is an absolutely incredible £36,611. Across all the Walk Together events has already raised almost £46,000. I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has donated money to the charity, as seeing the positive outcomes they are achieving and working towards gives me great comfort that their work is helping others with this disease. All fundraising will help the charity continue to support patients with the disease, campaign to provide expert information and support to patients and their families, enable and support research into the disease, educate the public and professionals about the disease (which was so important to Marty) and to campaign for early diagnosis and access to best treatment and care across the UK. As you'll be able to see from the photos below, it was a beautiful day and the walk along the Thames was full of amazing sights and culture, where we got to meet and talk to some very inspiring and courageous people - just like Marty. I crossed the finish line with my mum, Ant and the CEO of Bowel Cancer UK - Deborah Alsina (Dad and Rachel got there before us!) and we were greeted by staff and volunteers from the charity, some of which I have never met but who have helped me to channel the pain and trauma of what me and Marty went through by raising awareness to others. At the end of the walk, it was incredibly humbling for me to be introduced to Deborah James; who I have been following on Instagram (known as BowelBabe); who I'm very fond of and deeply admire, has stage 4 bowel cancer. Deborah has a story very similar to Marty's and through her own awareness of the disease, she's given me great strength and courage to overcome some of the personal difficulties I've faced. You can find out more about Deborah's story here. I'd like to wish everyone taking part in the final walk in Belfast this Saturday 29 September good luck and hope you have some nice weather. I'll update here once the charity releases how much in total has been raised. I have chosen to do my second year's walk in memory of Marty in London, along the River Thames - a place we visited often together. One of my most memorable trips was when I took Marty's to see one of the biggest exhibitions ever of the original props and costumes from the Star Wars films and taking him on the London Eye; which he also enjoyed the experience, even though he never left his seat because he had a fear of heights!
Earlier this year, myself and half a million people supported Lauren Backler by signing a petition to the then Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, Jeremy Hunt MP calling for a change in the bowel cancer screening age in England. Well, we did it! Following a comprehensive review of the evidence, the committee recommends that screening should be offered from aged 50 to 74 using the new and more accurate screening test, the faecal immunochemical test (FIT) at a sensitivity level of 20ug/g. FIT at this level has the potential to detect twice as many cancers and four times as many adenomas. The sensitivity of FIT to detect blood in poo can be adjusted to be more or less accurate. Adjusting the sensitivity threshold determines the number of people who will be referred for colonoscopy. The lower the threshold, the more sensitive the test is to blood. However, this also means more people who have traces of blood in their poo but who don’t have bowel cancer will be referred for a colonoscopy. FIT will be rolled out to the current eligible population from this autumn in England before the screening age is lowered. The test is already being used in Scotland from age 50. Wales has committed to roll-out FIT from January 2019 and Northern Ireland has yet to make a public commitment. Bowel Cancer UK's CEO; Deborah Alsina has highlighted that this of course doesn't help people under 50 but the charities 'Never2Young' campaign aims to address this. I am keeping a close watch on any developments with this campaign and will update here with any developments whilst continuing to raise the awareness of bowel cancer in young people.
Following the merger of Bowel Cancer UK and Beating Bowel Cancer in January 2018, today (Wednesday 1 August 2018) the charity revealed the new name, brand and video.
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Blog - Never too YoungThis blog is to carry on Marty's fighting spirit and help raise awareness of bowel cancer to others. It is also a place for you to share any of the things you have done or are doing in memory of him. Archives
September 2024
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